The Walking Wounded

THE REALITY:
- - During recent years in the news, there is frequently being revealed new cases in a pandemic of sexual abuse and relating misconduct by clergy in a particular religion.  This abuse and misconduct apparently have been and are commonly occurring in that religion throughout the world.
- - We of the protestant evangelical Christian religions like to think that our clergy are essentially immune from engaging in widespread abuse and misconduct.
- - Our pastors, elders, deacons, ministry leaders, and committee members are selected to hold their positions of authority because they have been evaluated as godly and above reproach.
- - However, close observations and examinations of numerous churches and interviews with their current and former attenders reveal that abuse and misconduct by our various ministry leaders are common in most of our churches and ministries.
- - Even though sexual abuse by ministry leaders is rare in protestant evangelical Christian religions, nevertheless other kinds of abuse and misconduct by our pastors, elders, and ministry leaders are occurring and are prevalent.
-- Some observed or reported examples of the abuse and misconduct that they have perpetrated within the performing of their ministerial functioning include:
- - - - favoritism; nepotism; mistreatment; creating nearly-constant stress and tension; unreasonableness; demanding; control-seeking; manipulation; injustice;
- - - - anger; verbal abuse and assault; rantings; chewing out or reaming out; physical threats;
- - - - arguments; strife; conflicts; dissension; division;
- - - - rumors and gossip; disparaging comments; false and judgmental assumptions, accusations, and charges; un-substantiated and unjustified character attacks and assassinations; unjustified termination from a ministry position; unjustified blacklisting;
- - - - misrepresenting; deception; outright lying; greed; theft; immoral sexual behavior;
- - - - denial; blame-shifting; scapegoating;
- - - - coveting; perpetrating a coup;
- - - - glory-seeking; ambition for power, fame, or prestige;
- - - - failure to stand up for and openly defend what they know is right.

THE AFTERMATH:
- - When innocent ministry members, innocent ministry workers, innocent ministry staff, and other innocent ministry leaders are subjected to any of these kinds of abuses and misconduct, then substantial harm is perpetrated upon them, which can and frequently does produce persistent devastating psychological and spiritual damage within them.
- - At the time of the perpetration upon them, a serious spiritual crisis is usually generated within them, because their godly character, godly motives, and godly behaviors are forthrightly pronounced by the pastor or high-ranking ministry leader as being substantially sinful and despicable, and extremely harmful to the church or the ministry.
- - Also the present and future ministry involvement and ministry occupation of the innocent ministry person are thrust into a serious crisis, because the pastor or ministry leader, who is suppose to be a man (or woman) of God, declared that the innocent ministry person has been doing an extremely poor job in his/her ministry functioning and through which is bringing great harm to the church or the ministry.
- - So within his abusive behaviors, the pastor or high-ranking ministry leader is thereby essentially evaluating that the innocent ministry person has no gifting from God and has no ministry skills - even to the extend of being counterproductive for the ministry functioning that the innocent ministry person is doing.
- - Through un-substantiated accusations and charges, the abusive pastor or high-ranking ministry leader in effect murders the present ministry functioning and the future ministry possibilities and plans of the innocent ministry person for doing ministry.
- - With great disgrace unjustly heaped on the innocent ministry person, and overwhelmed by the verbal assaults, the supreme political power of the abusive pastor or ministry leader, the personal spiritual crisis, and the ministry occupational crisis perpetrated upon him/her, the innocent ministry person subsequently takes the only godly course of action - to leave the ministry and his/her ministry functioning immediately and quietly.
- - This great disgrace and unjust abuse heaped upon innocent ministry persons thereafter sticks to them and follows them around everywhere - like a dark cloud hanging over them.
- - Then after years of grappling with the various aspects of the abuse, the innocent ministry persons still cannot entirely shake free from its continuing adverse and devastating effects upon them comprehensively.

- - This ministerial abuse and misconduct by pastors and high-ranking ministry leaders can also get perpetrated on a corporate level - on multiple persons or groups of persons in the church, or even on the entire congregation, both on believers and non-believers.
- - A common example of this phenomenon is when a long-standing and beloved head pastor, who has built a large and effective ministry, cheats on his wife by means of having a sexual affair with the church secretary.
- - Scandal and degrading publicity erupt, which are exacerbated by the adamant denials and counterattacking by that pastor, despite the rock-solid proof against him.
- - Thereby, the adults in the entire congregation are not only shocked, appalled, and devastated, but consequently they are long-term inflicted with overwhelming disdain, distrust, suspicion, hurt, and feelings of deep betrayal that have been perpetrated upon them by the deplorable misconduct of their head pastor.

- - From observations and interviews, it can be reasonably estimated that within many and perhaps most churches, there exists a substantial proportion of persons in their congregation who carry with them negative baggage from being ministerially abused or mistreated.
- - This negative baggage directly hinders them from being willing to get involved in doing any ministry work in any church or ministry.
- - This baggage also compels them to quickly leave a church or ministry when trouble starts brewing in it.
- - The devastation from ministerial abuse and misconduct produces and leaves long-term and persistent permanent psychological and spiritual open wounds, scars, and hypersensitivity to being ministerially-abused again.
- - The reality is that the aftermath of ministerial abuse and misconduct by some pastors and high-ranking ministry leaders has resulted in churches being substantially-filled with essentially spiritual walking-wounded or zombie-like believers.

THE PROPER RESPONSE:
- - So, you, who are in current leadership of churches and ministries, would be wise to assume that a significant proportion of your people are ministry abuse victims who continue to carry baggage from the abuses that were perpetrated upon them by ministry leaders in their past.  There are walking wounded in your church or ministry!!
- - And this baggage needs to be resolved - otherwise it will come out in some hurtful form sooner or later, which will then prove to be even more counterproductive to your church or ministry, and the building of God's kingdom.
- - Like in a marriage, ignoring a serious problem like this does not get rid of the problem - it will come back to haunt you sooner or later.
- - Telling your walking wounded to 'get over it' does not get rid of the problem either.
- - A fact to always keep in mind is that the victim, the abused ministry worker or ministry leader, is innocent, and thereby deserves and needs restoration in a positive and supportive manner in order to facilitate healing.
- - Another fact to always keep in mind is that the past abusive pastor or abusive ministry leader was an official representative of your church or ministry, functioning and acting at that time on behalf of your church or ministry and exerting authorized authority of your church or ministry to perpetrate the abuse upon the victim.
- - So, whether you like it or not and whether you agree or not, it is the responsibility of you, the subsequent leadership of your church or ministry, to do all that is necessary and appropriate to rectify, resolve, and repair the damage that was perpetrated by a previous official leader of and in your church or ministry.
- - Therefore, in valid cases, it will be necessary to convene an official meeting of the current leadership to inquire, determine, and pronounce an official finding that exonerates the innocent abused ministry person.

- - So, an important initial step is to actively seek out and find any innocent ministry persons in your church or ministry who were abused in the past by an authorized leader, whether that leader was from your church or ministry, or from some other church or ministry.
- - Then, meet privately with each of those innocent abused persons or married couples to gather information from them about the ministerial abuse that was perpetrated on them.
- - Upon determining that their information is credible and valid, then convene the official meeting of the current leadership, as described above.
- - And of course, follow-up biblical or pastoral counseling will need to be offered and conducted to compassionately facilitate their spiritual healing and to restore them to doing ministry functioning.  [NOTE:  For in-depth details on how to do this kind of biblical / pastoral counseling, see the document entitled "Recovering From Ministerial Abuse, Assault, Murder" that is located on the 'Counseling' web-page of this web-site www.BelieverAssist.com .]

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Copyrights:
Copyright © 2024 Mel W. Coddington, and permission is hereby granted that this document may be used, copied, and distributed non-commercially to non-profit organizations, individuals, churches, ministries, and schools worldwide, provided the copies are distributed at no charge and retain this sources documentation as supplied herein. This document is not for sale, resale, or for use as a gift or premium to be offered in connection with solicitations or contributions.
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File name:  thewalkingwounded.htm
Source:  www.BelieverAssist.com